I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
