How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
