so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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