Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
