Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
