just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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