She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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