wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
