I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize