and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
