i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Everclear isn't food dammit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
