...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
