I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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