I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
