So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
