What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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