OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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