I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
