i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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