Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
