After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
