Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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