I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
