She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
