I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
