These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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