so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So many bounce houses so little time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
