somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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