I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
