My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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