so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
