my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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