he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
