quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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