you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
