im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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