It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
