I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
