i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
