like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
