I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize