Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
