This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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