if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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