he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Panties = found
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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