ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
