Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
