Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
