So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
