u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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