How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
