There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
