I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize