He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
