You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
