I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
