Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
