you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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