She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
