Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
