were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
