You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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