Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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