i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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