According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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