I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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